Cindy continues to read and doesn’t say anything to Shannon, who sits for a minute or two, watching Mom get absorbed in the book, before going to her bedroom.

     Cindy feels overwhelmed. Her sweet Shannon had never been a source of frustration. But she knows Shannon is not the source. The books will show her the source …and the solution.

     Whether the books are going to provide the solution or not, Cindy is going to try. She is looking for something new. The past new books became old, but there are always some new books. The old never seem to work for very long.

                                                                                          ******* 

      Cindy is reading the newest book when Stephen wakes up the next morning. 

     When Stephen enters the room, it is as if the pause button had been pushed before he'd left for work the previous day, because as soon as he enters the room, the pause button is released again.

     Cindy unleashes all her emotion, “I suppose you believe in the Izzo philosophy?”

     Stephen had just awaken, but is rested and also prepared for another round, “It’s brought him much success …and a National Championship.”

     Cindy is prepared to challenge on any level, whether it makes sense or not, “I thought you didn’t measure success by such standards?”

     Stephen relaxes a bit, “I don’t, that was just an observation.” 

     Cindy relaxes a bit, realizing what had been said, “What are you talking about …National Championship?”

     Stephen clarifies, “Izzo is Michigan State University’s basketball coach. You’re probably talking about the person who wrote the book, entitled, Raising Children God’s Way."

     Cindy corrects him, “You mean, …growing kids.”

     Stephen makes light of it, “Growing, raising ---same thing. Sounds like crops. I think I’ll write my own book and call it, Loving Children by God’s Example."

     For a rare instance, he has Cindy’s attention, “How’s that?”

     Stephen is thrilled that she actually appears relaxed and attentive, “I believe that every relationship we have here on earth, God has given for the purpose of teaching and growth. God gave us a living example. Each person in the Bible is a living example, as the true story of God unfolds, beginning with ‘In the beginning...’. As God taught them, I also believe it is an example of how we should teach our children. It began with a garden of Eden, where everything was provided. There was no immediate need unfulfilled.”

                                                                                               273

     Stephen makes eye contact with Cindy. He is pleased to see he is still holding her interest, “As children begin to walk and venture about, they need to learn what they can and cannot touch …their forbidden fruit, per se. We can gain much understanding on how to raise our children if we read how the children of God were treated in the Bible, by their loving God. We get to the maturity of all this at the cross …with Jesus’ sacrifice. And I believe that marriage should be bonded within the beauty of the understanding of God’s sacrifice. With the growth and understanding of God’s sacrifice of sending us His Son, it is at this point, that I believe God expects us to sacrifice. But the sacrifice He expects of us is not the type of sacrifice He gave, in giving of His Son. God’s sacrifice was a sacrifice unto death, for our life. I believe God expects most of us to only sacrifice unto life, for life. For the life of our children, that is. I believe we are to sacrifice for our children, in a continual giving of ourselves.”

     Cindy feels sorry that she'd accused Stephen of those other things. She sees Stephen’s true character here. This is why she loves him. This is why she’d married him. 

     Cindy listens with a loving heart as Stephen expresses his, “We are to sacrifice together as husband and wife, often putting our needs and desires aside, to meet our children as God has met us. It is a sacrifice expected of us, not of our children. And as Jesus said to forbid not the children to come unto him, I feel we are not to be so structured that they cannot come unto us. And if they can’t come unto us, then we should come unto them, as equally as we would like Him to come unto us when we call.”

     Cindy joins the thought, “I know that call …when the baby is hungry and can only be satisfied by Mom’s nurturing and milk.”

     Cindy reflects back on those moments, "But I also saw Leah's face when you had to go back to work after having that vacation for Josiah’s birth. She had been drinking of the joys and comfort of what Dad has to offer. And as you drove down the driveway past the window, I saw her face. It was a face of torment. She did not understand why you were leaving. It was as if to say, 'Why have you forsaken me?' When Jesus was on Calvary, He had never before experienced separation from His Father. But death is separation. If death was to be complete, there had to be separation. Sin is separation from God. And Jesus took sin into death, for us. Even in saying it, I question whether I am saying it right. But I’m feeling it right. And I know that’s the important thing. I know who my Savior is. And I know I have a difficult time making His desires, my desires. But I know that the few times I attempt to do that, I feel I more fully understand the depth of His love.”

     Cindy is about to say a thing or two more about Dad's role, but Stephen jumps in. He hadn’t read into what more Cindy was about to say. His own thoughts were becoming book length, “We must bring our children back to the garden of Eden. Our children will sooner or later experience what sacrifice is. But I believe it is our initial responsibility, beginning at birth, to teach them nurturing, love, and constant communion. We must give them as much of that as we can. That’s what I believe God’s desire for us is …to give our children, what He has given us.” 

                                                                                                     274

     Cindy had wanted to say she was sorry. She feels sorry the way she had talked to Stephen earlier ---and yesterday. Actually, many days and quite often. But each of them had focused more on what they had to say about a particular subject than on what they should have said to one another. 

                                                                                            ********

     Stephen is prepared to witness the unfolding of what Frank had told him was going to happen. But it doesn’t quite happen that way. Casey is extremely polite to Lisa and Laura. And Casey takes much initiative to make that first day, a day of pleasant introductions. Casey gathers all thirty patients together for a meeting.

     The patients walk into the room, some in an almost catatonic state. Stephen has seen this sort before, throughout his career in Mental Health. But usually, it is after a very violent episode, where the Doctors are called upon to institute medical restraints.

     Many of the patients appear highly medicated, even over-medicated perhaps. Open mouths, drool, and shaking are all evident. Perhaps they felt the patients needed to be adequately medicated, at least until the unit stabilized. After all, this is an extremely high profile unit and particularly dangerous.

     From Stephen’s few encounters with working with Casey, he saw Casey as liking danger. And Casey had appeared to thrive on conflict. This is the kind of unit he would really enjoy working on, but presently he is being nice.

     Casey politely introduces himself and his co-workers to the patients, then opens it up to them, “I’m going to go around the room and call off each of your names, so I can see who is who. You can give me the correct pronunciation of your name if I mess it up, or what you’d like to be called. Then I have a Karaoke machine that our unit was given. I can’t stand Karaoke, but this is your unit, not mine.”

     Casey goes all around the room to the last person. He calls out the name, “Larry Leper”.

     Larry stands up. “Everyone calls me Crazy Larry. My whole life, as far as I can remember, I’ve been called Crazy Larry. There are three Larry’s on this unit, but I’m the only one who is really crazy. And I’d like to be the first to sing a song.”

     Larry quickly selects a tape out of the dozen or so. He grabs the microphone as Casey puts the tape in. 

      Stephen seldom listens to music, and certainly not this type, so he doesn’t recognize the song, but he recognizes the type of song. It begins with a loud beat, to which Larry begins to make guttural sounds, like a rap song.

     The most severely catatonic patients rise to their feet, and begin to sway, almost catching the rhythm. Then suddenly the music takes them over. 

                                                                                                   275 

      It is almost as scary as it would appear comical. But Stephen finds the disturbing aspect of how something can take a person over like that. The rigid, awkward movements suddenly become wonderfully, or frighteningly, rhythmic.